K.i.d.s. Say The Funniest Things

Teaching English as a foreign language can be hilarious. I mean the things that students say can make or break your day.

Teacher: Nathan isn't coming anymore.

Student: What teacher. Nathan is an animal.

Teacher: Not animal. Anymore.

Student: Teacher what animal is he?




Other days they are offensive little bastards.

Student: Oh, teacher that is scary.

Teacher: What.

Student: Teacher you shouldn't wear eyeline.

Teacher: Well, you little bitch there are somethings you shouldn't say to someone three times your age. Shut the fuck up and practice your god dam phonics. By the way you dumb fuck it's EYELINER. (p.s. this is the private dialogue that I had with myself).






This is what I wanted too do.

Student: Teacher, that is scary!

Teacher: No BITCH this is scary.

Student: Ouch!

Teacher: That's right BITCH you got knocked the fuck out. Now keep your remarks to your god dam self.

Thank You For Not Smoking

Before I came to Korea, I didn't smoke. But now all I seem to do is put cigarettes in my mouth. I must admit things are different here...I mean at home in Birmingham, England. You can't smoke in public places but in Korea you can smoke almost anywhere and everywhere. Plus they are so freaking cheap. I mean fags are only sold in packs of 20 and they cost about £1.25. How wonderful for me...who smokes like a pissing chimney now.



Another thing I only started doing more here is drinking copious amounts of coffee. I mean I drank coffee before but I was always more of a tea person. But to get the tea I want I have too travel so far to the store and needless to say I am one of the laziest people on the planet. So, I drink coffee....cups and cups of the stuff.

This new diet of mine is not good for my health. But on the plus side am getting skinnier and needless to say I'm so fed up of walking into shops in Korea and being unable to find my size or worst still being told they don't have large size.

Like bitch....don't get me started on the whole LARGE size thing. That is another post entirely!!!!!!!!!!!