Suicide

The phone rings, I pick up but I don't recognise the hesitant voice on the end of the line. He asks to speak to my mom claiming to be a friend of an old friend. I can tell from his voice that he is the bearer of bad news.

After she puts down the receiver she looks so sad. The man had found her telephone number in an old address book of someone who had committed suicide. The girl was just a year older than me and left two children behind. My mom used to work with children in care and this woman who is about too be cremated on Monday was someone she took care of almost 16 years ago. The last time she had heard from the girl was over 7 years ago after the birth of her second child.

They say that this time of year has the highest suicide rate. Christmas can be lonely I guess if you're feeling down or you're not close to your family or you have no family or no one I guess the feeling of loneliness can become amplified at this time of year.

How awkward was it too have to make that telephone call. To have to go through that address book. I guess sometimes there aren't enough words to express sorrow. The sadness in silence.