Cancer

This Christmas is really taking a turn for the worst. Yesterday was the suicide call. This morning I was dreaming that I was in a photo shoot. I was modelling for some random guy who was happily snapping away before commenting on my body hair. I pointed out that I had been lazy lately and then the conversation moved onto whether I preferred men with body hair.

You understand that I was having a pretty odd dream. Then, I heard the phone ringing in the distance. Drifting in and out of sleep I eventually began to realise that my mom had received another DEATH call. Her cousin's girlfriend called to tell her that he has taken a turn for the worse and the hospital has stopped the treatment.

Her cousin has bone cancer. I heard the door close. I jumped out of bed and ran outside shouting to my mom. She came back to the house and confirmed that he hasn't got long left. I wanted to go but am emotional at the best of times so I told her to phone her sister.

I wait. I wait. She comes back and confirms that he might not last til Christmas. It gets worse. His death marks the end to his life and the end to his family. His brother died a few years back. His father died two years ago and his mom has alzheimers. I say she is like the living dead because she is not who she was since the diagnosis and now her whole family will be gone and she won't be none the wiser.

This Christmas sure is melancholy.