Uncertainty

I wonder if I've made the right decision???? I decided to stay in Korea for another year but after completing the application. I have so many feelings of uncertainty. My heart feels like it's being torn apart. I'm worried that my relationship won't last! It's quite new about five months and I fear that I won't be able to stay here if it should end. I miss my family so much these days and even though I'm having fun here......will I still be having fun in eight months time. Will my relationship withstand the hands of time. I fear my thoughts of negativity are going to lead it too finish prematurely.

Lack of physicality is becoming troublesome. But then I wonder is intimacy more important than sex. The lack of the latter is causing me so much frustration and irritability. So, clearly I am in need of the sex but my pride is causing obstruction. Communication. I know......I mentioned it once before but stumbled and hit my head against a closed door. The response was I'm tired and as the weeks pass by I wonder if he is sleeping with someone else......Have I made the right decision to stay????

Language Paranoia

I've never felt so insecure in a relationship before!!!! What is the cause of this new found paranoia. My first language is English and my boyfriend's is Korean. Whenever his phone rings or he gets a message or he chats online......I feel a twinge of paranoia.

I can't understand what his saying to who ever his talking too. I guess I have trust issues....well usually my previous boyfriend's first language was English. So, naturally I can catch the gist of what they're saying or if they're talking to a boy or girl. But now I don't have this luxury and it's driving me a little INSANE.

I wanna know what his saying and whose he saying it too. Is that so bad??? I don't know but I hate feeling paranoid. Now, TRUST has never been such a burden. I mean you always have to trust your boyfriend to some extent but you know....when they're talking to too many females or saying sweet nothings to other women....at least you could understand if it was in ENGLISH. Wowwwwwww, I have a serious case of paranoia. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!

In Pursuit of Happiness

I watched the movie yesterday, In Pursuit of Happyness but I couldn't bring myself to write happiness incorrectly in the post title. Guess that says something about my character, right or maybe I just watch to much of these criminal profiling shows to think that refusing to spell happiness incorrectly has a much more DEEPER meaning????

I can't believe so much time has lapsed since I wrote something on my blog. I used to look at other people's blogs and think wowwwwwww, how come they haven't written anything in months and now I find myself on the otherside of the Looking Glass!!!!! But who cares, point is I'm here now and I'm still alive and able to write on here if I chose too. So, here is my long awaited POST...yes, I'm BACK in the BUILDING so to speak.

I feel like I've been given happy pills for the past four months because I'm so unbelievably happy. I would say I've been drinking the happy milk in this picture except the fact that I detest milk....well, only milk that has no artificial flavours or preservatives!!! But, nonetheless I think similarly to Will Smith (if you've had the pleasure of watching the movie) I discovered happiness. I never thought I'd find it so far from my little abode in England....BUT I think I found a taste of heaven in Korea.

I'm quite simple minded...given that I don't really care to over complicate matters as I believe even complicated matters...all begin with simplicity before they're duplicated and manipulated or whatever!!!! Point is....I feel like I'm in paradise. What has changed in my life to make me feel such bliss on earth. I wonder. I mean I'm not doing my dream job and the money that I'm making isn't pushing anything to Bill Gates. But I think I found something that money cannot buy and that is an angel. I found an angel in Korea and now everyday I feel like I'm sitting on top of the world. It's so magical how four letters can make such a difference to your whole world.

Hello>>>>>> I'm Back!!! --___<

Hello, I have been gone so long.....what are the reasons..ummmmmm???? First, I'm probably one of the laziest people you'll ever know...yes, yes...I mean my ideal life is that of a beach bum...hahaha! Secondly, I moved to Ulsan in South Korea and I'm trying to adapt to my new and improved lifestyle and thirdly...even though there are like a zillion internet cafes in Korea....they are like the smokiest environments known to MAN...LOL but thank Jesus I have internet in my apartment!!! So, now I can once again go blogging crazy.....I don't think I want my blog to be solely about life in Korea...so I think it'll just remain the same as before BUT obviously it will be affected by my new accommodation!!! ENJOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I'm just trying to get back my blogging momentum HENCE the multiple posts!!!! I just got back like an hour ago from Starbucks and I ate the greatest sandwich ever from a place called Isaacs....YUMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY and unfortunately, I'm back in my shoebox apartment. Yes, I live in the tiniest of apartments BUT I'm not one for moaning and I'm more than satisfied to be here in Korea than in a beautiful mansion in London (ummmmm, maybe I lie!!! hahahah).

As you can see the landscape is to die for....this was my first visit to a temple--Tongdosa Temple!!!! It was so amazing and serene and I think I love temples now....maybe I'll become like a Buddhist now or maybe adopt a more Buddhist lifestyle...ummmmmmmm....can I....will I.....watch this space! All I can say is I love the mountains and all the trees here in Korea and of course the beautiful architecture.

I just had to take a picture of the roof of these buildings.....so gorgeous!!! I love architecture....I wish I was capable of creating something remotely magnificent...PFFTTTTTTT! What was that can I get an ENCORE do you want more...one last time I ....hahahaha.

Flying Out---12 day Countdown

Finally---I have been given the green light and I'll be off to Ulsan, Korea to teach English for 6 months. But if it turns out well, they like me and I like them-----then I'll walk straight into another job for an extra 12 months. This is like everything all at once--exciting, terrifying, fun, interesting, daunting BUT overall I'm thrilled and delighted to be given the opportunity of a lifetime. WHoooHOOOOooooooo!

Pretender

I woke up and I heard the song clear as day in my head---so I thought I'd do a nice short n sweet post. It's such an awesome song---let's play it LOUD!!!!!