I've never felt so insecure in a relationship before!!!! What is the cause of this new found paranoia. My first language is English and my boyfriend's is Korean. Whenever his phone rings or he gets a message or he chats online......I feel a twinge of paranoia.
I can't understand what his saying to who ever his talking too. I guess I have trust issues....well usually my previous boyfriend's first language was English. So, naturally I can catch the gist of what they're saying or if they're talking to a boy or girl. But now I don't have this luxury and it's driving me a little INSANE.
I wanna know what his saying and whose he saying it too. Is that so bad??? I don't know but I hate feeling paranoid. Now, TRUST has never been such a burden. I mean you always have to trust your boyfriend to some extent but you know....when they're talking to too many females or saying sweet nothings to other women....at least you could understand if it was in ENGLISH. Wowwwwwww, I have a serious case of paranoia. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!
I wonder if I've made the right decision???? I decided to stay in Korea for another year but after completing the application. I have so many feelings of uncertainty. My heart feels like it's being torn apart. I'm worried that my relationship won't last! It's quite new about five months and I fear that I won't be able to stay here if it should end. I miss my family so much these days and even though I'm having fun here......will I still be having fun in eight months time. Will my relationship withstand the hands of time. I fear my thoughts of negativity are going to lead it too finish prematurely. 
Lack of physicality is becoming troublesome. But then I wonder is intimacy more important than sex. The lack of the latter is causing me so much frustration and irritability. So, clearly I am in need of the sex but my pride is causing obstruction. Communication. I know......I mentioned it once before but stumbled and hit my head against a closed door. The response was I'm tired and as the weeks pass by I wonder if he is sleeping with someone else......Have I made the right decision to stay????
